This Conviction

Ever shifting, ever moving

When I finally feel I know what to do

My life upends and it’s not so soothing

To be real with You and with myself

When I finally think I’ve “made it”

You show me the opposite

A constant shift between what I know 

And what I feel

As your mother Mary said, “Do whatever he tells you”

I must daily surrender my plans

Even if no one else understands

Though I am in this life with others

I am in it with You most of all

You’ll be there when I fall

Each time I decide to listen to your word

My heart continues to be stirred

By your master plan and loving heart

From which I could never be apart

No matter how confused I am by my life

It’s all worth it– even the strife

I have deep faith in the goodness of your love

I take each day as it will come

My focus is on the here and now,

But heavenly life makes my heart abound

With joy that you made me and that we can talk

When I feel as though I’m alone 

You remind me I’m not

Sometimes I say all these things 

but my heart’s not in it

In this moment, however, I am deeply convicted

I’ve come face to face with your love for me

And I pray this conviction remains in my clutches

Because who would I be if I turned to crutches

That only break my spirit and sever our bond?

Leaving me hopeless if I don’t respond

To your never-ending prompts

That give me comfort for this life and beyond